HUMOR: TOP 10 DISTRACTING ATTRACTIONS THAT SLOW DOWN TRAFFIC IN THE KEYS

At the most recent County Commission meeting, officials signed a resolution supporting Sheriff Rick Ramsay’s request to install a “visual barrier” at MM106 on the 18-Mile Stretch.  

The request to block shimmering blue waters from the view of anyone entering or leaving the Keys is in the best interest of public safety and aims to reduce traffic congestion from rubbernecking sightseers at the place known as “Bikini Beach.” (We don’t know if they’re actually admiring the ocean, or the assortment of bikini-clad bodies, but who are we to judge?)

In an effort to really get traffic moving between Miami and Key West, a few other iconic locations could also be canceled visually. 

Top 10 distracting attractions or scenic wonders in need of a “visual barricade” for the sake of improving traffic flow.

10. The Southernmost Point

9. The entire length of the 7 Mile Bridge

8. The Fills in Islamorada

7. Anywhere dolphins can be seen porpoising

6. The sandbar next to the Postcard Inn (formerly Holiday Isle) 

5. All of Big Pine Key

4. Don Bailey’s carpet billboard in Key Largo

3. Any CVS, Walgreens, Starbucks, bar, restaurant or gentleman’s club 

2. The 85 abandoned cop cars along the Overseas Highway

1. Any vista along U.S. 1 that offers either a beautiful sunset or a breathtaking sunrise 

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