For the first time ever, we have invited the men of the Florida Keys to tell us what truly defines a Keys Woman.
After all, women are unique and beautiful in every way, but it takes a dynamic type of girl (with maybe, the perfect dash of bodacious crazy) to call the Florida Keys home. So without further ado, we asked three of our suspiciously reluctant men to name the Top 10 Reasons Men Love a “Keys Woman”:
10. She’s a lot better with a spear gun than she is with an oven, and we’re totally cool with that.
9. She cares a lot more about your boat and golf cart than she does your car.
8. She never worries about you coming home drunk — as long as you show up with a fresh handle of Tito’s and a bag of Dion’s fried chicken.
7. Her safe word is “Atocha coin.”
6. She loves Tiffany’s, especially the two who work at Bare Assets.
5. You also don’t have to worry about your buddies seeing her naked. They already did — at the last 10 Fantasy Fest parades.
4. You don’t have to worry about her dating your friends. She already did. “Just wait your turn, bro.”
3. You never have to worry about calling her by the wrong name. She has a 24-carat gold name chain on her chest, wrist and ankle.
2. She will never judge your alcohol problem. She has one, too.
1. Her idea of foreplay involves stone crab and Key lime mustard.