2020 has been a wild ride. From the tragic passing of a legendary basketball star in Kobe Bryant, to the pandemic, fires in Australia and vigilante shootings, nothing seems out of the ordinary. This week, the Weekly is peering into the crystal ball to prepare our readers for the …
Top 10 headlines yet to occur in 2020
10. Prince Harry leaves Meghan … for Miley!
9. Swarms of Baby-eating Locusts Descend on Sanctuary Cities. Trump Says, “God Has Had Enough. And by God, I Mean Me.”
8. Election Night Shocker! Joe Biden Reveals He is the First Nonbinary, Gender Nonconforming, Genderfluid, Intersex President (with Exception of Reagan, Clinton and Eisenhower).
7. Dr. Anthony Fauci Releases His Latest Book, “WTF…No, Seriously. WTF?”
6. Aliens Arrive on Earth, Immediately Declare Will Smith an “Enemy of the Universe.” (Spoiler Alert: Not because of “Independence Day,”…but for “Bad Boys 3”).
5. Howard Stern Calls on Trump to Resign … Trump Immediately Calls on Howard Stern to Be Funny Again.
4) Heavyweight Champion Anthony Joshua Loses Ear in Mike Tyson Comeback Bid. Tyson: “What the f*(&k did you expect?”
3) Giant African Death Hornets Invade U.S. … oh wait, too late.
2) Coronavirus Death Toll Tops 100,000. People Fighting Over Coronavirus Death Toll Tops 200,000.
1) Study Says Lots of People on the Left Blame the Right; Lots of People on the Right Blame the Left.