Whether it’s Marky Mark, Ben Affleck or that dude who sang “Jump Around” (and then became Everlast), Boston is home to an eclectic myriad of historical icons and scholars. But for a sports town that forged its loyal fandom within the Boston Garden and Fenway Park, the city now belongs to Tom Brady (or the GOAT) and the New England Patriots. Coach Bill Belichick’s bunch may very well go down as one of the greatest sports franchises in a particular era, but the Boston way is not always the most popular way when it comes to some of the teams’s most memorable wins. Whether it’s deflated footballs, voyeuristic scouting tactics or head-scratching calls, the more questionable the means, the more indulgent Pats fans seemingly become with each and every title. But come Super Bowl Sunday, should you find yourself in the middle of the ultimate Donnybrook, look for these identifying traits to spot the Patriots fans at your party.
10. You can name every Patriots player, their staff including ball boys, field crew and every play during their last 8 Super Bowls. But you can’t name 4 other NFL teams.
9. You will always argue that Ben Affleck was “wicked awesome” as Batman.
8. You commonly refer to the Miami Dolphins as “the best Junior Varsity team in the NFL.”
7. Your life motto is “It’s only cheating if you get caught.”
6. You still don’t think it’s cheating when you do get caught.
5. You (way too casually) refer to your private parts as “Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch” at parties.
4. The only “deflated balls” you will admit to occurred during your junior prom.
3. You refuse to believe that TB12 is Human Growth Hormone.
2. You insist that “Good Will Hunting” and “The Town” are required viewing for all 3rdgraders.
1. You believe in an unjust God.
