- Reveal the “Danny Kohlage” tattoo which is scrawled across your shoulders in gangster letters. Or John Bartus. Or Deb Gillis.
- Ask the poll workers, “Who’s winning?”
- Give the voter next to you a wet willy.
- Run full speed into your polling place screaming, “Bees! Bees!”
- Bring a sandwich, soda and bag of chips with you into the booth and start chowing down.
- Whisper to the person next to you that you are on peyote and need help with selections.
- Show up in nothing more than a speedo, swim fins and a snorkel.
- Ask the poll worker for the correct spelling of your own name.
- After the voter in front of you casts their ballot, exclaim, “Are you f’ing kidding me?”
- Instead of your ballot, slide a racing form into the machine.