11. “The lady speaking looks just like the one who held her pistol like a water hose in front of those protesters.”
10. “The ANTIFA delegates stole all the toilet paper and broke the soda machine.”
9. “I always said there was only one other person I could beat outside of Hillary. And they went and nominated him.”
8. “I swear I just saw Bernie scalping his tickets in the parking lot.”
7. “I said to open with Roger Stone … not The Rolling Stones! Those guys are so un-American.”
6. “Ok Joe, again….here’s what you do if you get stuck up there. First, blame Trump. Then tell everyone that you and Barack are best buddies. And last, tell them the moon is made of cottage cheese. It will confuse them, but they’ll forget all about what they initially asked you.”
5. “And again I tell you Charlotte, North Carolina … They might take our flag and your statues, but I promise they’ll never take our NASCAR! Huh? Ok…they took NASCAR, but they’ll never take Ted Nugent!”
4. “Joe Biden is a man for our times and reminder that our senior citizens — although slow and dangerous behind the wheel – can still serve a purpose.”
3. “Instead of Mexico, this time we’re going to make China build the biggest wall in the world! Oh … wait …”
2. “There’s only four things I like about Goodyear. And that’s the letters G-O-Y-A.”
1. “And our next speaker will join us live from Zoom, Ms. Ghislaine Maxwell!”
