We have Valentine tips…

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Because who doesn't love the Weekly's very own cover boy Gabby Sanchez.

Tips for a Single Person On Valentine’s Day

  1. No drunk Facebook stalking.
  2. Hang out with our publisher at Curry Mansion.
  3. Yes, in answer to your question, do not wear red.
  4. Not the day to take an STD test.
  5. 5. Remember: Unsolicited selfies (of anything) never ends well.
  6. Don’t spray cologne onto your nether regions. It’s extremely presumptuous and makes you smell weird at the urinal.
  7. Trying to impress her with your cooking is a horrible idea. Just buy nice wine instead.
  8. Don’t take dating advice from our publisher (see # 2).
  9.  Wash your car.
  10. Indian food? Come on man.

Tips for a Married Person on Valentine’s Day

  1. Nope, a new broom is not an appropriate gift.
  2. Let her have the last glass of red wine, and yes, open up another bottle, you fool.
  3. Just stay in and watch Netflix, you know it’s what you both really want.
  4. Rent Dunkirk – no one can fight watching Dunkirk.

5 .Shout loudly, “I’m Sorry” and see if you get lucky.

  1. If she wanted lingerie, she probably would have bought it herself.
  2. Don’t do anything that will remind her of what you don’t do on the other 364 days of the year (e.g. take the trash out, cook, man-scape, foot rubs, dishes, lawn work, laundry…).
  3. Remember that ordering porn before sexy time is like a delicate business deal. Mutual consent is always a good policy.
  4. Don’t tell Siri your safe word. She can play evil pranks at the worst moments.
  5. Put your phones down for 10 minutes and talk. That way you will remember why you’re always on your phones.

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