It’s been 7 hours and 55 days since they made us take our kids away (from school, for the summer). In Monroe County, school starts on Wednesday, Aug. 15. Don’t ask; we don’t understand why it starts on a Wednesday either. It seems like a long way away.
Top 11 signs you need your kids to go back to school
11. You have a picture of the school drop off zone as your screensaver.
10. Leaving them at the Truman splash pad for eight hours a day is drawing unwanted attention.
9. On closer inspection, that huge teenage party you saw on Instagram was in your kitchen.
8. You have resorted to serving Lunchables at dinner.
7. Your 8-year-old is binge-watching “The View” and says Whoopi Goldberg “gets me.”
6. You keep checking state marijuana laws like they might change overnight.
5. Even you hate the beach at this point.
4. You lie about other families being on vacation to avoid yet another play date. (We know you did!)
3. You grind your teeth when you hear the LEGOs being poured on the floor. Again.
2. The dog has still not grown his hair back.
1. You text their teacher, “Hey what’s up?” like it’s a booty call.