The Florida Keys National Marine Sanctuary recently published a “Restoration Blueprint,” a new draft management plan that proposes the first major updates to the FKNMS regulations in more than 30 years. About 98% of the recommendations for this new plan were generated through public input, with thoughtful suggestions informed by science and residents’ own direct experience and knowledge of the Keys.
Top 10 items that didn’t make it into the proposed Restoration Blueprint
10. The secret recipe for McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish.
9. Closing the ocean and gulf to children every day from 4 to 6 p.m. for a relaxing “adult swim.”
8. Inclusion of the Homestead “Golden Corral” in the “Area to be Avoided.”
7. Designated “Chugs Only” mooring fields.
6. Methods to get the coral “hammered drunk” in order to “expedite spawning.”
5. Goliath grouper season: Jan. 1 to Dec. 31.
4. Designated “noodling only” fishing zones.
3. Allow licensed captains to “safely remove, with extreme prejudice” one jet ski per person per day.
2. Outfitting those old lighthouses with zip lines and diving boards.
- Fewer treble hooks … more dynamite.
