You may have seen the recent revelations about the relatively low — even non-existent — rate of income tax paid by the ultrarich, and wondered why. We’re here to help. 

Top 10 Reasons Bezos and Gates don’t pay taxes:

10. They need the extra funds for rocket fuel and trips to the moon.

9. Blame it on the intern at Turbo Tax. 

8. Because divorces suck — even when you are richer than God.

7. Because someone has to be the asshole.

6. Because “trickle down” works … said no one at an Amazon plant.

5. Saving for inflation.

4. Because with great power comes great responsibility. And hookers. And blow. And jets. And cars. And houses. And trips. And …

3. They also don’t pay barbers. So at least there’s that.

2. The extra money is being used to fix the automatic formatting program in Microsoft Office.

1. Because “Sir Richard did it first.”

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