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“Facebook Fighting again?” “Yea, and I don’t even know who with anymore…”

Need a break from the headlines? Since the news is now deemed fake anyway (cough*, eye roll), here are some gems that would be worth the bold, oversize font at least in these parts.

Key West

  1. City Commission Erupts in Flash Mob dancing to Rihanna’s “Yellow Diamonds”. They found love in a hopeless place.
  2. Navy Opens Base to Public to Test Drive Jets: Quoted, “Hey, you guys paid for them.”
  3. Truman Waterfront to Finish in March 2018
  4. Bob The Octopus Will Predict Key West’s Next Mayor
  5. Bartenders Lock Restrooms in Protest of “Mocktail” Trend
  6. Jimmy Buffett: Margaritas are too salty; I like Moonshine now.
  7. Marco Rubio Hired as School Security Guard
  8. Study Reveals: Spring Breakers Are Messing with Us.
  9. Trikes Banned Due to “Uncoolness”
  10. Marathon Declares War on Key West: “They are uppity.” Islamorada Refuses to Take Sides.
  11. Research Shows 90% of Residents Hate Mangoes.


  1. Tallahassee agrees to treat Florida Keys like grownups.
  2. Elon Musk buys winter home on Coco Plum
  3. Fast pass now available for seafood booths at Original Marathon Seafood Festival
  4. Aaron Carters Moves Back to Marathon; Opens Queso & Yoga Studio
  5. Residents Admit Eating Stone Crabs is Something of a Pain
  6. Target To Replace Kmart in Local Plaza
  7. Publix to offer home delivery
  8. Red Hot Chili Peppers to Headline Seafood Fest
  9. The Old 7 Mile is Open for Business!
  10. Duck Key to be Annexed!
  11. Council Breaks Ground on Community Swimming Pool
  12. Affordable Housing Solved!



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