20 questions with Bill Hoebee

20 questions with Bill Hoebee - A man riding a motorcycle on the side of a building - Car tires

Lover of sarcasm, cake and Earnest Goes to Camp

New Jersey native and TV/radio host, Bill Hoebee ended up in the Keys like the rest of us — because no one else would take him. Okay, that’s only a half truth, but he’s ours now, for better and/or worse.

Today Bill Hoebee just might be the most recognized celebrity in the Florida Keys. In fact, he has been nominated for “Best Local Celebrity” for two consecutive years at “The Bubbas: Key West People’s Choice Awards” and he receives rock star treatment at just about every establishment (mainly bars) that he frequents. 

But there is just something about Bill Hoebee that affords him the liberty to say (and do) just about anything on the airwaves. With puerile charm and “radio good looks,” Hoebee commands a dominating stranglehold on the radio ratings; imparting wisdom, fraternity humor and pop culture sarcasm as effortlessly as Tony Soprano consumes fagoule. 

From a successful stint with an ’80s hair band to hobnobbing with celebrities around the country, Bill Hoebee never takes himself too seriously, which is perhaps his recipe for such broad appeal. His heart remains on the microphone — talking and laughing with his younger sidekicks: The Bird and Mel T. With more than 100,000 listeners on his iHeartRadio show, along with listeners from Miami to Key West and the countless articles he has written and published around the globe, Bill Hoebee remains, well … Bill Hoebee. And there is only one Bill Hoebee to go around. (Unless you ask him nicely; he might go twice.)   

But for those who know him outside of the radio sphere of quick-witted jokes and antidotes, there is another side of Keys radio’s favorite smartass. It’s his alter ego, or the “real” Bill Hoebee, to some extent. That is a man who would stick his neck out for anyone he calls a friend, a man loyal to his trade no matter what the cost, and a man who loves nothing more than making others smile for a few extra hours each day. (Editor’s note: we expect Hoebee to blast us over the airwaves for having outed his sensitive nature.) 

1. Middle name? Scott

2. Worst nickname? Hoebee-wan Kenobi, Hoebee Cat

3. Rather be a man or a woman? Man, ’cause I love women. Women are smarter, so I‘d rather take advice from women.

4. Who is your celebrity crush and why? Jennifer Aniston, insanely rich and pretty.

5. Pet peeve? When people ask me to say something funny. Shut up. Is that funny?

6. What are you scared of? Snakes, witches and ex-wives.

7. Which TV character is your alter ego? Gary Shandling, rest in peace you crazy $*@*.

8. Who would you refuse on your show? Can’t refuse anyone, but will kick them off.

9. Who would you love to have on your show? The Ramones.

10. If invisible, what would you do? Head to the backroom of the Vatican and expose the hidden secrets, probably steal something too.

11.What was your first thought this morning? My ADD kicks in, so I have about 30 un-medicated thoughts. You don’t have enough paper.

12. Favorite reality show? “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” [character impressions followed]. I watched ironically.

13. Go on a date with Mrs. Robinson or Miley Cyrus? Mrs. Robinson knows what the !#*@ she is doing and is not nearly as annoying as Miley Cyrus.

14. Has your show, The Experiment, failed or succeeded? Twenty years, still going.

15. The Bird and Mel go a date, who would their love child be? A new Charles Manson.

16. Favorite magical power? Power to grant more wishes.

17. Nerdiest passion? I sleep with the History Channel on so I wake up and know stuff. But sometimes I “know” it wrong.

18. Worst interview? The Scorpions.

19. What have you learned in this lifetime? Not to put pressure on myself. And be myself.

20. Who would you have your last meal with? My mom.

Listen to “Hoebee in the Afternoon Experiment” weekdays from 2 to 7 p.m. on WAIL 99.5 FM.

Hays Blinckmann is an oil painter, author of the novel “In The Salt,” lover of all things German including husband, children and Bundesliga. She spends her free time developing a font for sarcasm, testing foreign wines and failing miserably at home cooking.