Their jokes are so bad they’re good, they’re experts in tasks few others would be proud of – and we love them anyway. This Father’s Day, the Keys Weekly got in touch with a few of our Middle Keys dads to find out more about their wacky senses of humor, their head-scratching and belly-laughing moments as a parent, and what makes the title of “Dad” the best in the world.
CHRIS BRYK
What’s your go-to dad joke? Ironically it’s a “yo momma” joke.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? These days it seems like any time they have homework!
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? Seeing my girls come into their own personalities and still seeing Mandy and I in them.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? If you know Leelee there are way too many to choose from! She’s hilarious.
DANA CHILD
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? Becoming a father to Hannah and Aydan gave my life meaning and purpose. I can’t imagine my life without them!
SEAN MCDONALD (as answered by his daughter, Riley)
What’s your go-to dad joke? (If he hears, “I’m hungry) “Hi hungry, I’m Dad.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? How to tell my daughter she’s my favorite child.
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Lecturing my kids about their future plans and financial independence.
What’s your favorite part about being a dad? Having a perfect daughter that lights up every room.
RICHARD ‘MOOSE’ VANDERVOORT
What’s your go-to dad joke? I have a vegetable joke, but it’s too corny.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? What’s an axolotl?
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Changing the toilet paper roll.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? “Can I have your steak?”
What’s your favorite part about being a dad? Watching them grow in their faith.
ADAM GARRISON
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? How much sleep does a human need to survive?
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? I can fix anything. Maybe not on the first try. But it will get fixed.
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? Seeing my son smile.
Best piece of parenting advice? Enjoy it all. The good times and the hard times.
ARJEN HOLDINGA
What’s your go-to dad joke? Hair is overrated.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? Looking up how to help my son with elementary math, when he told me I did it wrong. I was not doing it how the teacher was explaining it.
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Making a Beer Butt chicken.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? One of the boys was 4 years old when he told me I was “losing my hair anchors.”
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? I got beat in tennis before Adrien ever started shaving. My favorite thing is to see my sons excel beyond what I ever could imagine!
SHANE KEWEEN
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? What the heck does “6-7” mean?
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Definitely cooking. If not for me, it would only be microwave food and local take-out.
What’s one phrase your kids are tired of hearing from you? When are you gonna start that TikTok shop and make millions?
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? During the start of his freshman year at UF, he called me and said, “How do you cook chicken? Just stick it in the frying pan? I’m in a hurry.” I asked what kind of chicken. He said, “I have frozen chicken breast.” “Well, you are not gonna cook that in a hurry.”
STEVE WILLIAMS
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? I am better at keeping plants alive than the rest of the family.
What’s one phrase your kids are tired of hearing from you? “Other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? When my oldest daughter was 7, my mother once told her that when her father (me) would misbehave, my mother would spank me. My daughter replied, “Didn’t work, did it?”
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? The happiness that comes from these two young independent women succeed so greatly in everything they set out to accomplish.
PAUL BARTNIK
What’s your go-to dad joke? What kind of pants do clouds wear? Thunderwear.
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? No one can vacuum as good as me. The kids try and I just have to take over because they miss so many spots.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? My youngest daughter told me she was allergic to babies. She was 2 years old, and she said “I don’t know if you’re aware, but I have a severe allergy to babies, and my throat is starting to hurt.” She would always say that whenever a baby was around.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong? “Never wake a sleeping baby.” My youngest would sleep during the day and then she would be up all night long. We woke her up during her naps to make sure she slept all night.
KERRY STRUYF
What’s one phrase your kids are tired of hearing from you? “Are you air conditioning the whole world?”
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? One of my grandkids asked “Grandpa, what’s a honey badger?”
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve had to Google as a parent? What a honey badger was.
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? The grandchildren.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong? “After you have one kid, it doesn’t really matter how many.” It really does.
CHRISTIAN WESTDICKENBERG
What’s your go-to dad joke? What happened when two slices of bread went on a date? It was loaf at first sight.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? What would my baby be considered if Mom was born in South Africa and later became a U.S. citizen, while Dad was born in Chile and adopted by Germans at two days old?
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Organizing the refrigerator.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong? “Make a 10-year plan for your children.” I’ve learned that parenting doesn’t always follow a plan. As the saying goes, you make plans, and God laughs. The best approach is to guide, support and adapt as your children grow into who they’re meant to be.
JOSH ROBERTS
What’s your go-to dad joke? Repeating a joke until everyone hates it. That’s when I know it’s working.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? Are Nike Pro tight shorts appropriate for wearing to dinner? If so, will I get arrested if I wear them too in Marathon?
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Forgetting to pay the electric bill.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? When explaining how babies are made to my oldest, his response was simply, “I always wondered how DNA got transferred.”
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? Every year gets more exciting. Watching my kids become really cool humans who are genuinely fun to be around is hard to beat.
MICHAEL CUNNINGHAM
What do you do that makes your kids roll their eyes? My kids roll their eyes at me when I try to be relevant to their age group when talking to their friends. Clearly my GenX time period and coolness does not translate with them. Or so they think!
What lesson do you hope your kids learn from you? My kids played high level AAA and junior hockey so I have always tried to teach them hard work, effort and a great attitude will be critical in their successes now and in the future. So far it has paid off for them.
What’s your most-used phrase? Other than “Don’t be a PIA” or “Ask your mom,” my most-used phrase has probably been, “It’s better to do something than nothing,” meaning make a full effort to do your best or the right thing when faced with decisions.
SPENSER BRYAN
What is your absolute favorite memory of being a dad? My favorite memory is taking the kids to my parents’ farm. The kids love playing with all the animals and being outside all day.
What’s your go-to dad joke? Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed. (It’s not just a dad joke, but a little cop humor too).
Best Father’s Day gift you’ve ever received? Last year I actually got to take a nap! That was a nice 20 minutes.
JIM McCARTHY
What’s one thing you swore you’d never do as a parent that you now do all the time? Negotiate with a tiny terrorist over how many dinosaur nuggets count as dinner.
What is the most important lesson you hope your children learn from you? Confidence. The kind Lucas has when he’s completely wrong but explains it like a TED Talk.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said or done? He called me “Honey” in public and then told me to hurry up because I was walking too slow.
What’s your go-to dad joke? I don’t need Google. I have a 3-year-old who asks “Why?” about everything.
KASHAWN BUTLER
What is your absolute favorite memory of being a dad? Each time the boys were fully potty trained. No more diapers!
What’s your go-to dad joke? To the 13-year-old: “What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match! Now get out there and be fire!”
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said or done? 3-year-old: “Daddy, daddy wait, you’re talking too much right now, I can’t hear my show.”
Best Father’s Day gift you’ve ever received? A solid six hours in the man cave without any disruption. Ahhhh, paradise!
DEREK PAUL
What’s your go-to dad joke? I tell my kids I’m not arguing. I’m just explaining why I’m right.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? How to explain something simple in a way that doesn’t turn into a 30‑minute debate because my kids negotiate like they’re on a mission.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? When I tell my kids I’m the boss, they say, “Yeah, but only when Mom’s not looking.”
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong? “Kids don’t notice the small stuff.” They absolutely do. And it’s the small moments, the rides, the talks, the quiet time that they remember most.
NATE BARTLETT
What’s your go-to dad joke? Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent? “Why did God make bad guys?”
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you? After a day with one of the best local charter captains and mates, our son got home and said, “I think I’m gonna skip being a mate and go straight to being a boat captain.”
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you? Turn off the lights.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong? “Everything changes once you have kids.” Having kids turned out to be the best gifts of my life.
JOSE CASTRO
What’s your go-to dad joke?
What do you call a teacher who farts in private? A private tooter.
What’s one phrase your kids are tired of hearing from you?
“Nobody knows everything.” It gives them the confidence to ask questions and it gives us a good response when we don’t know the answer to one of their questions. There’s confidence in not being afraid to admit you don’t know.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you?
The time they asked me about the baby in my tummy. I lost a bit of sleep that day.
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad?
Watching my two little girls grow into young women. It’s rewarding, humbling, and I enjoy every minute of the journey.
LOUIE THE DOLPHIN
What’s your go-to dad joke?
I like to ask, ” Why are dolphins so good at making friends? Because we always click with people!” It’s funny every time.
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad?
Showing my daughters, Morada and Bowie, that family isn’t only about where you come from. I was given a second chance at life and adopted into an incredible family. Being able to share that love, patience, and sense of fun with the next generation means everything to me.
What’s one household job you’re convinced nobody can do as well as you?
Keeping everyone entertained. If there’s a game to play, a person to talk to or a lady dolphin to impress, I think I’m the right dolphin for the job.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong?
Someone told me, “Don’t spoil your kids.” I think extra attention, encouragement and fish are all excellent parenting tools.
PABLO RODRIGUEZ
What’s your go-to dad joke?
When one of the kids asks me where something is, I like to tell them, “There it isn’t”! Hilarious to only me.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever had to Google/ChatGPT as a parent?
I’ve Googled the meaning behind different baby poop colors.
What’s the funniest thing your child has ever said to you?
I can’t think of the funniest thing off the top of my head, but it cracks me up when my 5-year-old mathematician beats adults in a multiplication table contests.
What’s your favorite thing about being a dad?
Learning the true meaning of unconditional love.
What’s one piece of parenting advice someone gave you that turned out to be completely wrong?
“Be their parent, not their friend.” You can successfully be both if there’s trust and respect in your household.
